Now, I could go into
how this movie is a mess of crap, interspersed with rock-stupidity, but if
you've seen this movie, you already know this.
So, I'll just jump to the part where I explain how I'd do things differently. I think it's a fairly simple solution, too. I tried to write something more like my usual thing but there is just so much to say about this film, I had to give up. So, here we go:
Start over from Scratch... Almost...
Ultimately, this is
what I would do--everyone always complains that Superman is a boring
character. I have always disagreed and
cite the Gangbuster arc from the late 80s/early 90s (I think?) as evidence. In fact, the same thing that fuels the
Gangbuster story arc occurs in the previous movie starring Superman, MAN OF
STEEL. So, it would have been the perfect set up. So, I'd start there--with Superman feeling
terribly terribly guilty for having played judge, jury, and executioner for
General Zod.
From there I'd still
take some liberties with it compared to the source material. So, I suspect that Mr. Snyder might still
actually get a kick out of my version of this movie. However, I'd go in the opposite direction
from what most people expect. First, I'd
make Batman retired. The problem of
crime was almost entirely solved in Gotham City after Wayne Industries invested
heavily in community centers, schools and local colleges. Of course, everyone (in the media, especially) assumes it's Batman's techniques that have saved Gotham. Bruce knows the truth but feels that Batman's reputation needs to stay intact, just to keep up appearances. However, with news reports of Batman having
moved to Metropolis, Bruce Wayne realizes he must get involved once again to
protect his legacy.
Meanwhile, Clark
Kent suffers from serious PTSD after killing General Zod--an act which, it
turns out, goes against every moral molecule in his body. He wakes every night from night terrors and
has become despondent and difficult as a person. He and Lois end their relationship but are
placed together by their new boss on the Batman-In-Metropolis story. Perry White has been let go after LexNewsCorp
has bought the Daily Planet. Lois is
frustrated but is still the ultimate pro and Clark decides to shut up and do his dayjob, though, he'd rather not be bothered. "Let Batman do to/for
Metropolis what he can. Superman (I) could use some help!"
After all, Superman, since MAN
OF STEEL, has been finding his more peaceful means of crime control are simply
not working. At least, he's not patient
enough to let them work. It seems to him
that crime and crimes are getting worse and he is not sure what to do about
it. He is desperate and jealous of
Batman's ability to beat criminals into submission especially here on
Superman's turf.
That's the set-up, here's Act One
Bruce, Lois and
Clark all begin to investigate these Batman sightings in Metropolis (obviously crossing paths more than once) only to be
distracted by, reports of Metropolis' Batman wearing a red suit/mask and having
the ability to move very fast. Also distracting
is a mysterious, dark-haired woman investigating this new vigilante in
Metropolis, as well. Finally and worst
of all, they are distracted by news reports from LexNewsCorp's
conservative-leaning, fear-mongering news outlets, The Daily Planet and Lex
News Network (in my BMvSM, Lex would be portrayed by a girthy, balding white
man with jowls and a penchant for pretty anchor ladies).
Bruce comes up dry
after following around Lois and Clark and decides it's back to the cape and
cowl. So, as Batman, he tricks Superman
into a meeting (his own scream auto-tuned to a frequency high enough that Supes
can't ignore it). Superman is angry,
accusatory, and threatening to take Batman to the police. Batman manages to convince him that he is not
behind the excessively violent attacks in Metropolis, reminding Superman of
Batman's record of never killing anyone in all his years in Gotham. This pisses off Superman (reminding him of
his own execution of Zod), and he snaps an agreement at Batman, just to shut him
up. They will work together to catch
this new guy, whom they've come to call Gangbuster for his preference of
criminal victim.
After a few nights
of no luck finding their target, they agree to go to a gang hotspot but Batman
rejects Superman's intel for the hotspot location, insisting that his own information is more accurate
("Where'd you get that intel from? Reading the Daily Planet?") and Superman
begrudgingly allows Batman to take the lead ("They do call me the World's
Greatest Detective."). They go to
the big gang hotspot and wait all night.
Gangbuster does not show.
Batman suggests they take a night off.
Superman agrees.
Act Two
The next night,
Bruce is on the balcony of his hotel room when he sees that dark haired woman
staring at him from the next balcony over.
She commands him to immediately go to the gang hotspot. Before Bruce can react, she leaps into the
air and seems to fly, up to the roof.
Throwing on his cowl, Batman grapples up to the roof and asks Alfred
(over his cowl's communication system) for some spy satellite help. "Master Bruce, she's right behind you."
"World's
Greatest Detective, huh?" she says, going on to insist he must go to the
gang hotspot to catch his quarry. Batman
demands to know how she knows Gangbuster will be there tonight since he wasn't
there last night. "Because he thinks you
and your super friend won't be there tonight. You need to go now. Don't contact your friend. Just go."
Batman suits-up and
heads out to the gang hotspot to find Gangbuster beating the crap out of thirty
or forty armed gang members. Bats tells
everyone to run for their lives as he manages to catch up to the rogue vigilante.
Batman tries to engage the madman in some kind of dialog but Gangbuster is more
interested in smashing thug heads and breaking criminal bones. Finally, Batman demands Gangbuster take him
on since Batman is a criminal, too.
Gangbuster begins to speak in a very angry, growly voice that is somehow
familiar. Batman sees bullet holes in
Gangbuster's red jumpsuit and his red mask has been partially broken from a
gunshot to the face, but there is no blood. Bats looks back at the bullet holes and sees red, yellow and blue fabric
underneath the jumpsuit. Batman leaps at
Gangbuster, putting his fingers through the bullet holes in the jumpsuit and
tearing a chunk of fabric off, revealing Superman's "S"
underneath.
Superman/Gangbuster
proceeds to beat the living crap out of Batman.
Batman manages to limp away from Superman but Superman's eyes begin to
glow. "You're right, Bruce... you are a criminal!"
Just as Superman
fires his heat vision at the Dark Knight, out of nowhere Wonder Woman arrives
in the arms of the Flash, her shield protecting herself, Flash, and Batman. Superman's heat vision reflects off of her
shield and begins tearing apart the building they are in. Wonder Woman commands Flash to get Batman out
of harms way and to then come back to get her.
He does. Obviously, she does not
pursue Superman/Gangbuster, who escapes as the building collapses.
Act Three
Now, the
climax is ready to be set up--it's where Batman taps into his secret stash of Kryptonite under the Batcave
in order to prepare to face an insane Superman.
In the process of developing tech that will let them take on Superman, they
decide to enlist the help of STAR Labs's latest creation, Cyborg. Wonder Woman keeps the Flash involved and
they formulate a plan that will drive Superman to Metropolis harbor. Once to the water, Wonder Woman knows a guy
who can help.
So, they execute
their plan and, being consumed by vengeful rage, Superman falls for that plan
and finds himself being driven toward the water. "You guys know I can swim, right?"
Frustrated with the ease at which they manipulated him into this confrontation, he starts to get very angry and very brutal. He takes down all of them one by one. But then turns toward the harbor to see Aquaman and his army rise from the water. "And you're here to stop me?"
"We are here to restore the balance of justice."
"JUSTICE?!?" Superman
starts to protest, but then stops, looking at his beaten down
colleagues. A look of horror crosses his
face. "My friends... I... there can
be no justice... not as long as I am on this Earth!"
Superman leaps
upward and does not stop.
Aquaman and his
soldiers help the others to their feet.
Batman stares up at the night sky.
"He'll be back... and we need to be ready."
That's how I'd do it.
My title would be
different, too. It would be "BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: BALANCE OF JUSTICE."
Just one word of difference, but that is an important word.
The whole problem I
had with BMvSM: DoJ was that there was just no reason for them to go head-to-head
against each other. I don't mind the
abstract idea of making Batman a paranoid, Alex Jones type, but not like this--not in a way that makes him look like an incompetent paranoiac.
Obviously, I am cool with changing the characters around, but the change
has to lend itself to the goals of the story while still staying true to core aspects of the characters.
Batman is a hero. He needs more
than the politics of fear to justify attacking Superman.
Likewise, Superman needs more than his mom in
danger and a nearly terminal inability to have a conversation with someone who
disagrees with him to justify fighting Batman. Along these lines I feel like I'd please Zack Snyder fans (and hopefully Snyder, as well) because this story is about Superman going insane. This isn't about how Superman is a good guy and Batman's paranoid about nothing. This is about Batman's paranoia being right and Superman having a psychotic break and going all Norman Bates on Metropolis. That's pretty damn gritty if you ask me.
Was BATMAN VS.
SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE an entertaining movie? Some people thought it was but most of us
thought it was not. So, if they had done
it my way, yeah, it would have been a much bigger crowd pleaser and made a
heckuva lot more sense.
PS I'd also have wanted to figure out a way to tie these movies into TV's FlashArrowverse because, well, even at its worst, the FlashArrowverse is still more fun than BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE. That said, it wouldn't be a deal-breaker as I am a big fan of the multiverse concept.
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